Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize