yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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