Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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