Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize