Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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