And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
