I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
