No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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