oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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