He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
