i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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