i was born a porn star she said
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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