I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
