he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
