remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
