I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
