My nipple is on Facebook.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
