Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
