he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize