I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
