Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
