It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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