their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
