SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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