I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
