I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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