Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize