dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
