I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
