"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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