is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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