i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
