Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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