I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
