so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
