Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
