5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I supernannyed him into submission
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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