That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
