Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
