New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Everything about him screamed your future.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize