i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You smell like stripper and shame
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
