Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
