I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
