I must be too annoying 4 u.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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