I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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