no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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