Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
