Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
