at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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