He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
