Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
