STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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