all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
