But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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