A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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