Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry genocyde hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(615): View more from Tennessee

Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple

Fav 20 5144 1924
share tweet
(124): View more from

Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.

Fav 107 32823 1974
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head

Fav 45 6051 1132
share tweet
(978): View more from Massachusetts

i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis

Fav 8 1191 4234
share tweet
(336): View more from North Carolina

If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice

Fav 8 3915 1047
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

I will fight anything that is not spinning right now

Fav 9 2961 1276
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(253): View more from Washington

So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.

Fav 5 1204 1204
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.

Fav 1 573 374
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor

(718): View more from New York

You don't remember stealing them?

Fav 0 35 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT