oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
