I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
