yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
