Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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